Little Old Lady


Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 90 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady: I was sitting in my swing on my front porch enjoying the evening, when a young man came onto the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Lady: No, but he was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didn't.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that to me since my Albert died 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didn't.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It made me feel excited. I hadn't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: I was feeling so hot that I laid down and said, "Take me. Take me now!"

Defense Attorney: Did he?

Little Old Lady: No! He smiled and yelled, "April Fool!" That's when I shot the son of a bitch.